


Undertale: Joints, Japes, and Popsicles (Sans x Reader)

by orphan_account



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Anal Sex, Any gender, Awkward Boners, Bed Sex, Bonding, Boners, Cuddles, Cuddling & Snuggling, Ecto-Penis (Undertale), Ecto-Tongue (Undertale), Established Relationship, F/M, Fingering, Flavored Magic, Gender-neutral Reader, Laughter During Sex, Licking, M/M, Massage, Metallica References, Naked Cuddling, Oral Sex, Other, Penetration, Popsicles, Porn with Feelings, Puns during sex, Reader Gender Unspecified, Sensitive bones, Sex, Sleep, Sleepy Cuddles, Tongues, blue raspberry, bones - Freeform, ribs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-02
Updated: 2020-03-02
Packaged: 2021-02-22 09:56:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 17,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22980937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: After a long day of work at the surface library, you head to the home of your more-than-a-friend, Sans. He's happy to see you, but his day of work's left his bones a little worse for wear. Some relaxing, goofy cuddles up in his room sound like exactly what the doctor ordered, so it's what you agree on... at least for the first night, before something even more relaxing lights up the scene.
Relationships: Sans (Undertale)/Reader, Sans (Undertale)/You
Comments: 5
Kudos: 114





	1. Squeaky Door Hinges

**Undertale: Joints, Japes, and Popsicles (Sans x Reader)**

**Chapter One – Squeaky Door Hinges**

6:59 PM. Your day of work at the local library’s drawing to a close. There’s a ray of sunlight piercing through one of the windows, and happens to shine right onto your desk, but it’s better than a gloomy storm.

Working at a library in May certainly keeps you busy, to say the least. With humans and monsters alike preparing for their yearly exams, there’s always a crowd trying to find the right books. The Internet might be growing more each year, but a hard copy of a book’s always easier to navigate, and it feels cooler having one on a desk, anyway. That kind of thinking is why there’s always a line facing you, asking where to go for books on chemistry, literature (books about more books), performing arts… the list goes on.

Now that it’s late in the day, though, the crowd’s mostly died down, as they’re likely off having dinner, or jumping into more of their studies. Usually, you like getting to chat with strangers about how their days are going, but after a good eight hours of talking and directing them in the right way, it’s been enough. When the clock hits 7, you feel a relief in your shoulders and log off of the computer, collecting your papers to bring home.

Well, you say ‘home’, but in reality, you’re stopping somewhere else for the night. Tonight, you’re staying at the home of your close friend, Sans. The two of you try to meet up as often as possible, with how well you ‘joint’ together, as he puts it, but it hasn’t gotten to happen yet this week. From what he’s texted you, he’s had a lot going on, between contacting locations for his next comedy shows, or serving up hot dogs to the townsfolk. Humans tend to be pickier with their ‘dogs, so they must be working him down to the last finger. Some time together could be exactly what you both need.

To your good fortune, the library’s only a few minutes’ walk from his house. According to Sans, his old Underground home had a library near it, too. Maybe he’s more of a bookworm than he’s let off. Enjoying the warm air hitting your face and hair, you leave the library and make your way down the road. It’s a perfectly normal walk, aside from seeing the rabbit that’s walking another rabbit on the sidewalk, but you’ll do your best to push that memory out of your head. It’s not long before you reach the modest little two-story home that Sans and his younger brother reside in. Straightening up your shirt, you knock on the door. There’s some shifting around that can be heard from the other side before it opens up, as you’re now facing the pun connoisseur and hot dog champion himself.

“heya, protag. nice seeing ya in the flesh.”

“Don’t worry, I wouldn’t forget to leave the flesh in the library.” He swings the door open more to let you in, and you happily oblige. His home’s always gives off a welcoming feeling; he did his best to find one that was a lot like the old house, so his brother would feel welcome.

“Is Papyrus around? I don’t see any rapid cooking or posing practice.”

“he’s off on some commercial shoot. think it’s him and a human going to a diner together. i dunno what channel it’s on, but it’ll be a big premiere here when it’s put on the air. still gotta grab the confetti for it.” As the mascot of the Underground, Papyrus is all over content encouraging healthy and happy human-monster relations. It seems like a lot of work, but with his energy and enthusiasm, he seems to be going through with it just fine.

“Sure you’re really proud of him, that big ol’ grin of his is on a sign I see each day I go to work.” Your work shoes aren’t the most comfortable, so you take them off, exposing the bright white socks that cover your feet.

“woah, you’ve got the same sock brand as me. didn’t know you’re a sock enthusiast, too. wanna see my collection later?”

“Sounds like a great idea. I’d hate to sock it to ya and say otherwise.”

“heheh, all that work, and you saved your jokes for me. flattered.” He joins in and takes his slippers off, showing his honesty about the brand.

“to get back on track, though, yeah, i’m mega proud of him. not anyone could work as hard as he does to give monsters a good rep. he’s even able to harness the energy from drinking from fifteen coffee brands, they all wanted him for pictures on the same day.”

“And he said yes to all of them?”

“yup. think they were trying to stop the other brands from getting him, but i don’t think he realized that. wasn’t gonna be a downer and tell him no.” He shifts over to the old couch and sits down hard.

“Speaking of downer, you went down quick. Bones not getting enough milk?”

“my bro’s the only one that drinks milk, not drinking it is par for the course for me. probably explains why he’s taller, but it is what it is.”

“Haven’t seen a human taller than him yet. Guess he really towers over the competition.” Heading over to the couch yourself, you lay your arm over his far shoulder. The two of you are “friends”, but you’ve sort of agreed it’s more than that without having to say a single word about it.

“What’s up, though? Usually you’re still all smiles after a hot dog day, and no, I don’t mean the smile you’ve got stuck on your face 24/7.”

“got pretty darn thankful for that towards the end. think everyone needed a snack to get their minds off those horrible tests they told me about. don’t get why they throw those at kids, i never had to take ‘em, and look at how far i’ve gotten.” He proudly shows off a little ketchup stain on the side of his hoodie.

“I don’t get it, either, they turned me into a shut-in for a couple months. Not a fun time.”

“it’s been a whole week of getting ‘em what they want. glad i can be there to meet their snack needs, but it’s a lotta work for one muscleless dude to do. anything and everything’s sore now.”

“Anything and everything?”

“yup. arms were always zoomin’ around with money and ‘dogs, and with my old way of making hot dogs being illegal now, it takes a lot more time. not even the slippers could stop my legs from turning into blades of grass.” He tries stretching his knees out. “i blame math.”

“Won’t say you’re wrong. Once, I had to throw this blueprint together for a project, and it was the most boring thing. Having to use numbers to figure out x, y, and z’s never fun. Was that your last day of the week?”

“fortunately. i wouldn’t wanna drop while doing someone’s order, it’s supposed to be snack time, not a horror movie.”

Some thoughts start brewing in your head. It is getting fairly late, and Papyrus isn’t gonna be around; maybe some affection’s what the doctor ordered.

“I think I’ve got an idea. All that pressure should be gone by morning.”

“hm? what’d that hairy skull of yours have in mind?”

Without answering, you reach an arm under Sans’ knees. You’d learned from some hugs before that he’s pretty light, so this should all work as planned. Putting your other arm behind his back, you scoop him up and stand. He’s now got his head picked up while giving you a stare, not looking all that annoyed by this.

“kidnapping? that’s your idea?”

“Not exactly.” He still presses on.

“i can already see the headlines. ‘skeleton gets taken out from the kneecaps and stolen by rogue human.’ the whole town’s gonna fall into peril.”

“Don’t worry, I’m not plotting to ruin the good work your brother’s been up to.” Carrying Sans in your arms, you head up the staircase towards his room. You can’t tell if the growing grin on his face is either from looking forward to whatever’s coming next, or relief that his knees didn’t have to push their way up the steps. Carefully turning around so Sans’ head doesn’t get bumped, you open the door to his room and step inside.

Just like what Sans had said before, his room is styled exactly like his one in the Underground was. There’s a neglected, broken treadmill sitting in the middle, and a tornado of clothes blowing in the corner. The bed is completely unmade, and if this is gonna be a relaxed time, that has to change. You gently set Sans down by his pillows.

“ya still didn’t answer my question. what’s this grand scheme of yours? i don’t have any chains, if that’s your kind of thing. sorry.”

“Not what I’m looking for, and your work’s **chained** you down enough this week, anyway.” You look at the heap that his bed sheets are in. “Have I got your permission to ruin this art of yours?”

“go ahead. be the art vandal you’ve always dreamed of.” Good enough. You grab the edge of the sheet and flap it up in the air, straightening it out. Once you’ve pushed the edges of the sheet under the mattress, the bed looks… well, not as good as a new bed, but definitely more suitable for some R&R.

“Voila. One steaming room temperature sheet, just as you ordered, kind sir.”

“four point nine stars out of five. my favorite crease is gone.” His voice makes it sound like a genuine concern, but he winks, and all that goes out the window.

“so, what now? you’ve already caught me without my slippers on, isn’t one sight to behold enough for a day?” You pull off your sock in reply.

“How comfortable would it be laying around in a bed with socks on?”

“can’t argue with that. here comes sight to behold, number two.” His long, articulate fingers reach for his socks and pull them off, revealing some equally boney toes. They’re a little longer than you thought they’d be.

“there, now we’re even. usually, i’d ask for a tip, but for you, i’ll let the bill slide.”

“Great, now we’re ready.” You’d made sure to set Sans down on the far side of the bed, so this next part would work out. Your bond was close enough for you to have some close contact, so you hop on the bed and are now laying right by his side. His usual scent is covered up by that of hot dogs, from all the work he did today. Before getting into the fun, though, you see a bit of bread stuck between Sans’ teeth, and pull it out for him.

“That couldn’t have been comfortable. You’re letting all that dough slip away.” Dramatically, you pull a dollar bill out of your pocket and hold it in front of him.

“i sorta miss g. who doesn’t want a bunch of coins jingling loudly in their pockets?” Sans might feel worn out, but his humor hasn’t lost a beat.

“I’d offer a penny for your thoughts, but you gave me them already. I’ll stop keeping ya waiting on my idea, ya goofball.” You rub up his shoulder a bit.

“You’ve been feeling all tensed up from your work. I’m right here to loosen you up however you want. All I need is permission to get around those ribs of yours, and we’re set. You in?”

“well, ya make a good point. that skin-a yours is pretty soft, and i guess i’ve worn myself down to the bone this week. lemme know if this answers your question.” Pushing himself up a bit, Sans pulls off his hoodie, followed by the white t-shirt under it. He throws them towards the tornado, but they just miss, and now they sadly lay alone on the floor. Somehow, a sad trombone honk comes out of the tornado in reply.

“Where’d you get that tornado, anyway?”

“won it in a contest. i’d tell you how right now, but I don’t wanna **gust** your mind out the window.” As you listen to Sans answer, though, your eyes are turned towards something… different. His entire ribcage and spine are exposed now, and for someone that doesn’t exactly live a fancy life, they look incredibly smooth. Each little detail in the bones makes your heart skip a bit. Unfortunately, it means everything he just said went in one ear and out the other.

“…Uuuuuh-huh. I’ll make sure to read that next week.” Sans has no idea what you meant by that, but doesn’t say anything. Meanwhile, you’re contemplating how someone tells a skeleton they’ve got a good ribcage.

“Y-you look… nice.” Nice? That’s all you could think of? ‘Nice’?

“thanks. i’d say you look nice, but ya still have your sweater on. you’re gonna _sweat_ up a storm if you’re cuddling with that thing on.”

“Ahaha, good point.” Pulling your work sweater off, you throw it by where the hoodie landed, leaving just a thin shirt on. You’re all good to go now.

“So, which bones of yours are the most trousled?”

“well, this spot’s been through the ringer. shoulders and hot dogs don’t mix.” He points to the shoulder that’s been rubbing up on you. Without a moment of waiting, you rest your hand on it and try to feel around to find the sweet spot.

“oooh, man, yeah, that’s feelin’ better already.”

“All I did was put my hand on it, ya goof.”

“when do you think the last time was that skin was on it?”

“Hmm… unless you had a one night stand I’m not aware of, then I’m gonna say never.” You stick your fingers where his shoulder and collarbone meet, and give a slow rubbing motion. It makes his upper arm slide around a bit.

“n-nah, i’ve never had one. besides, why would i when i’ve already got the massage master here?”

“Oh? You’d already say I’m a master?”

“yup.”

“I don’t believe you. I’m sure you could give me a better rub than _that_.” He might be the one that needs the rubs, but if you’re both on the same bed, you may as well trade blows.

“fine, fine. let’s see if i can take your crown.” Sans uses his long fingers to pull the collar of your shirt down, now exposing your shoulder. With the other hand, he messes around with your muscles, and while that pesky skin might be getting in the way, it feels heavenly. All that typing at the desk must’ve put your arms through a lot, and this is the cure you needed.

“Y-yeah, I was right, I’m not the master.”

“here. instead of competing, let’s make it a collaboneation.” Sans grabs your farther arm and pulls it up to his shoulder, encouraging you to get back to the rubs. You don’t have to say anything else to agree, as you start pressing into where his joints would go while he works on yours. Your hand practically melts into his body, and his does the same for yours.

“W-wow… do ya practice this?”

“no, but when you’ve been made of bones your whole life, some-a this stuff’s instinct. what, you’re telling me you don’t know every flesh trick in the book? you work at a library, too, you’ve got no excuse, bud.” You let go of his shoulder. A good answer’s gonna take all the thought you can give.

“Well… I hate to give you a news flesh like this, but this skin of mine covers up all my muscles. It’s not like you showing off those fabulous bones of yours every day.” That’s enough to make Sans stop, too.

“you’re telling me you don’t keep a flesh collection in your house?”

“…N-no?”

“huh. thought my brother’s bone collection carried over to humans, too. guess there’s a lot to learn.” He pretends to look disappointed in himself.

“Here, maybe this’ll distract you.” While he’s holding his glum façade, you reach for his highest rib and start tickling it. It makes him jump, and you make sure to let go of the rib so you don’t pull it off. Once Sans stops jolting, he puts his hand over his mouth, trying to hold a laugh.

“g-gosh darnit, protag, ya almost spooked my hair off.” He runs his fingers over his head, as if there was hair covering it. Something about watching his fingers shift up and down is oddly soothing.

“anyhoo, ya gotta be slower, unless throwing me off the bed’s your goal. here, i’m putting every ounce of trust i got in ya.” Sans lays back on the pillow again with his arms pulled behind him. If you tickled him again, there’d be nothing to stop you, but while you might be a bit of a goofball, you’re not a jerk. With that in mind, you slowly set your hand over the whole rib and start drifting it up and down. He seems to breathe a little harder from it, leaving you unsure what kind of pleasure he’s getting from this.

“if ya d-do two ribs, you’ll make me the happiest camper to ever camp in a camper.”

“The happiest camper ever? Good thing you didn’t keep up with my shoulder, then, or else I might’ve started cramping your style.”

“cramping a camper’s style could be the crummiest thing any crud-head could do.”

“Is rubbing another rib the only way I can make you stop?”

“yes.”

“Fiiiiine, I guess I won’t disappoint.” You place another hand on a rib lower on the cage and start rubbing them in unison, pushing in opposite directions. His head rolls back deeper into the pillow, so from what you can tell, this is helping kill that pressure from earlier.

“Guess you could say I’m killing this tension with a knife.”

“huh. didn’t know surface knives are so soft and squishy.”

“Only the best ones for you.” You speed it up a bit, figuring that has to mean _something_ good. Judging by the dazed expression on his face and the little jitter his hand’s making, that’s probably right.

“it’s never this good on my own. guess bone-on-bone action ain’t meant to be. a shame any… erf… other underground skeletons never got learn what it’s like gettin’ some skin over them.”

“Does it make you wish you had your own?”

“oh, no, not at all. who wants to clean that every day? perfectly fine with my one shower a week.”

“That… does sound nice. I’d join in, but I don’t wanna get fired.”

“your library wouldn’t like that? they really need to read between the lines and see the fun in that.” Again, he makes you completely lose track of what you were doing.

“You’ve only got bones, it’s easier for you to not smell like trash. Do you want someone smelling like a garbage heap showing you where the books for advanced calculus are?”

“you’re talking to someone that got some of their first books from a dump. that kinda stuff’s my specialty.”

“Guess I can’t argue with that.” Looking over the skeleton again, your eyes are now directed to his hips. The tops are sticking out a bit above his shorts.

“Hey, I’ve got a _hip_ idea for what you might need next.”

“a _hip_ idea? i’ve just gotta _hop_ thinking of what that could be.”

“ **Gosh**. I can’t win, but I can’t say losing really feels bad.” Sans’ endless joke barrage might’ve stopped your last idea, but now it’s given you one that’s even better. Reaching down under his rib cage, your hand finds his hip and fiddles around with it. If he’d been standing all day, this has to be where most of the pressure’s coming from, so you caress it with your fingers the same way you’d pet his pet rock. That reminds you that you forgot to when arriving earlier, but the rock probably won’t mind waiting til later.

“jeez, protag, you're gonna noodle me up so bad that paps is gonna throw me into his next dinner."

“You’ve said he’s really creative with his pasta, but I doubt skeleghetti’s on the docket. Don’t get too worried.”

“i’ll try not to.” Sans’ knees start wobbling as you work your hands around the back of both hips now, which you figure is the closest you’d ever get to having hands on a skelebooty. You look up to make sure the wobbling doesn’t mean he’s annoyed, but his neck is stretched out in a way you didn’t even know skeletons were capable of, and the growing smirk doesn’t seem like it’s telling you to hold off.

“i should h-hire someone to do this during my shift, i’d split my pay. ‘hot-dog maker hip rub-er’ has a nice rrrrring to it.”

“Gimme your hours later. You wouldn’t have to pay half, and I could even do this on weekends.”

“heheh, you’re gonna drag me outta bed to work on a weekend?”

“And not fill my passion as a hip rub-er? Don’t turn my guts to rubber with that.” Between the feeling in his hips and all of your quips, Sans is quickly becoming a giggling mess. Unable to hold still anymore, he turns on his side, and you manage to get your one hand off that hip before it can come down and crush you. He stretches his arms around you to push you in, leaving your shirt and his ribs pressing into each other. Despite his short frame, his arms are just long enough to get around the whole way. Once that’s taken care of, he pulls his arms down and tries to do the same thing with your hips. All it really does is press into your skin, but it’s the thought that counts.

“is this how people naturally do this sort of thing?”

“Not really, but when’s a human and skeleton sharing cuddles been natural?”

“fair point. natural’s boring.” Sans’ hands start missing the hips and hit the rear instead, but he doesn’t seem to notice, and you’re not gonna ask him to stop anytime soon.

“it’s a shame i can’t work my way up yer spine. the feeling from that’s enough to make someone **vertabreak**.”

“Can’t tell if that’s a good or bad thing.”

“good. very, very good. the most boneafide bone work i do after getting worn to the bone from a bone breaker like today.”

“Well, if that’s the case, then here you go.” Gently pulling your hands up, you start working on each vertebrae, giving each one a wide pinch, as if you were folding a piece of paper in half. Sans stays cuddled up in front of you as you keep up your work, laughing a bit each time you move on to a new one.

“heheh, that’s the j-jackpot. you should make another j-job out of this. three jobs, three times the moolah.”

“But what if I got pried away from my private hip job? I’d hate to _waist_ my opportunities.”

“yeah, you’re right. all the others have stuff coverin’ their spines, anyway. i p-pity them.” It’s not long before you make it up to his neck, and the feeling’s too strong for him not to do something in reply. Instead of laying by your side, he pushes himself up and on top of you, now mere inches from your eyesight. The smell of his breath coming through his teeth is one that could make you sink away without a care in the world.

“why’re ya sweating? your head’s looking like that time my bro left the faucet on for an hour.” You hadn’t even come to realize the drips forming up on your forehead.

“Erm… maybe the library was hot?” You try your best to not let any of his quips stop you from giving his neck the finest treatment.

“nah, that can’t be it. too many cold authors there. here, i think i’ve got a cure for ya.”

“By all means, go ahea-” You’re stopped by the feeling of his teeth pressed up on your cheek. This must be how a skeleton smooches, and you’re enjoying every piece of it. The rest of his short body sort of curls up onto your stomach as you continue to work on the neck, letting all of his cuddles sink in. His teeth seem to press in more and more the more you get at it… until suddenly, there’s something very different. The feeling of his teeth is replaced with some incredibly gooey texture. Wanting to make sure nothing fell from his ceiling or anything like that, you pull your head back a bit… and see what it _really_ is.

Sans’ mouth, which you’d only ever seen closed, had somehow pulled open, with a black void now between his teeth. That’s not the only thing there, though. A giant, glowing blue tongue stretches out from the middle, now sort of hanging from the side of his mouth. It’s bigger than any tongue you’d ever seen; it covers his entire chin, and then some, and it gives off a bright blue glow that sheds over his face. If that wasn’t drawing you in enough, it’s all covered by this thick goo, drops of which are now splatting onto his bed sheets every now and then. There isn’t as much of a smile going along with it, though.

“…whoops. guess i didn’t warn ya about this lil’ friend of mine. you made my joints so happy that i completely let loose.” Despite talking, Sans’ jaw doesn’t move at all; his voice just shoots its way out of the void. You’re not sure what to say or ask. All the tongue’s doing is raising more questions.

“C-can I… touch it?” Welp, instinct pushed that one out. Hopefully he’s not too whacked out now.

“sure thing. guess your books didn’t teach anything about glow in the dark tongues. that’s a shame.”

Huh. Guess he wasn’t whacked out at all. You’re not sure if the tongue gets tickles the same way his ribs do, so you slowly brush the back of your right hand against the tongue.

It’s unlike anything you’ve ever felt. The gooiness leaves this huge blue mark over your hand, and the texture of his tongue has this calming warmth to it. You keep working your hand up and down the tongue, using the other hand to pet around the back of his head at the same time.

“H-holy crud, Snas, you’re so lucky to have this thing…”

“snas? i’m now snas? guess my tongue’s got the power to destroy english, too. probably for the best i don’t go to that library, cause having my friend out might destroy the place.”

“Haha, yeah, I’d rather my workplace not be destroyed, if I can get some of this tongue action here, anyway.” As you continue to work over it, though, Sans seems to be drifting off, and _fast_. Something about that tongue and head rub mix must be a bit of sensual overload.

“protag, you must be the sandman or something, cause you’re sendin’ me off to never, never laaannnn…” Sans falls off the last word. He head starts drooping up and down, making his tongue lather up on your chest. It’s ticklish, but not in a bad way at all. If he’s gonna pass out, you don’t wanna tell him not to, but there’s one more thing you’d like first.

“Sans, could you do one more lil’ treat for me before entering the z zone?”

“…sssssure thing, bookworm.”

“Could I get a… a good night lick? It’ll help me a lot with, um… studies.”

“you’re still tryin’ to be a… *yawn*…a smartypants. can’t say i don’t respect that.” He shakes his head to wake up a bit, making the goo from the tongue spread over your face, as if a wet dog was shaking. Instead of going for the face, though, he shifts his way down to your shirt.

“are ya plannin’ to wash this shirt before ya use it at work again?”

“Of course. I’m not an anti-shower skeleton like yourself, I’ve gotta keep my stuff clean.”

“i really gotta expose you to more-a the dirt life. smelliness and questionable cuddles go hand in hand.”

“I’ll add that to the bucket list.”

“just the bucket list? maybe this’ll move it to the ‘i gotta do this now’ list.” Pulling up the bottom of your shirt, Sans gets to work with his tongue and lays out this giant lick on your stomach. It makes your whole shirt glow blue, and the spongey feeling on your gut is marvelous.

“D-d-does this make my new name nice cream?” He finishes off his last grand lick and puts his head up, as he crawls back to his earlier position on top of you.

“we can work that out. maybe the nice cream vendor could even make a stomach flavor for halloween.”

“Wouldn’t that scare anyone away?”

“not if it tastes like you, it won’t.” He winks with an ever growing grin, but the other eye starts to grow with it. With a tired breath, he slips off your side and plops back onto the mattress, and his tongue contracts while his jaw shuts.

“Thanks for the new name. Night night, ya dork.” Giving Sans’ cheek a light squeeze, you quietly pull the sheets over both you and him. He might not have to worry about getting cold, but the coziness should help him rest. Wrapping your arm around him once more, the movements from earlier hit you hard as you drift off yourself, hoping Sans has nothing but sweet dreams.

Little did you know that in the morning, something even sweeter than a dream would _rise_ to the occasion.


	2. Blue Raspberry

**Chapter Two – Blue Raspberry**

After a relaxed, surprisingly dreamless night of sleep passes, the sunlight glares through the window by Sans’ side of the bed. There’s not a cloud in the sky, and some birds are chirping in the distance. It’s the perfect setting for you to wake up to, as the light hits your face and gets you moving. Pulling yourself up a bit with your arms, you rub your eyes to get the blurriness out, and everything comes back to view. The tornado’s still in the corner of the room, making its quiet whirring noise, and the hoodie and shirt are still collecting dust right by it. If only he’d thrown them a few inches farther. Maybe your own tornado would be a nice white noise machine, if you can figure out what contest Sans won it in.

Looking to your left, you see that Sans is still snoozing away. Your presence must’ve kept the sheets more still, as they’re not in the same crumbled ball as you found them last night. His mouth’s still sealed shut, and you can hear a slow, pleasant breathing noise coming in and out of his nose. Between that and how his arms are sprawled over the sheets, it might be the most loose you’ve ever seen him, and that’s saying something.

The longer you watch him, though, the more you realize he’s _not_ actually completely still. As small as it is, there’s this little twitch going in his left hand. It’s not much, but his fingers are doing little movements. There’s a little voice joining along with it, too, and you’re unsure if he’s been up to it all night, or if it just started.

“p…pro…yup… pro…” He’s trying to get your name out, but can’t make it the whole way. With how bright the sun is that’s coming into the room, you’ve got no clue how he’s able to keep this up. When you watch his hand drift, around, though, you quickly pick up on something… different.

There’s this glowing blue spot under the sheets. Judging by Sans’ build, it’d be around where his waist is. From what you’d seen of Sans’ body last night, all he’s got is bone, so why there’d be a blue light around his waist is a mystery. Then again, he does seem like the kind of guy that’d stick an LED in his shorts for laughs, so it could be something as simple as that. However, each time he tries to say your name, you swear the light seems to get a bit brighter.

…You can’t help but feel a looming curiosity. You’re sharing the same bed, so you’ve got the same right to ‘move’ the sheets however you want. If they’re all shaken up by the time Sans wakes up, you could say you’re not a heavy sleeper or something. It might be a fairly big invasion of his privacy, but he seems like the last guy to mind that sort of thing. Deciding to take the plunge, you pull a tip of the sheets up and bring your head under.

You’ve got a clear look at Sans’ shorts now. surely enough, the blue light’s coming from the middle, and it’s sprung up like a little hill. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what it could be. You’d never heard of a rod letting off blue light before, but it honestly isn’t the most surprising thing you’ve heard of since monsters moved up to the surface. Taking a quick look behind, Sans’ sleep hasn’t missed a beat, and he’s still making those innocent little noises through his nose. The coast is clear. Gently grabbing ahold of the top of the shorts, you pull them up to take a peak.

One look is all you need to know that a peak’s not gonna be enough.

You’re greeted with possibly the best thing you’ve ever laid your eyes on. Sans’ rod is shaped the same as a human one, but it’s incredibly meaty, with a very curved yet straight shape. It’s blue from top to bottom, and lets off a bright light that’s now shining onto your face. What really completes the picture, though, is just how gooey it is. These long drips that look like the same as the ones on his tongue coat each and every side, and if you were to touch it, you’re sure it’d be nothing but sticky bits of joy. It’s slowly twitching up and down from whatever he’s dreaming of, and if he’s trying to say your name, it makes you happy knowing you’re the co-star in it. Before the sight of it can make you completely drift away, though, the twitching stops. You’re not sure why, so you look back at Sans, only to see that the skeleton’s now looking right back at you. He’s a little groggy, but focused enough to tell exactly what you were doing.

“…erm… h-heya, protag. rise ‘n shine, ‘n all that stuff.” He scratches his cheek a bit.

“H-hey, there, Sans, good morning… uh… I can explain…” Deep down, you know you can’t explain.

“sorry if i, uh… scared you with my…” A brilliant idea flashes in your noggin.

“Your popsicle?” He’s instantly floored.

“y-yes. my popsicle. a popsicle that ya never have to worry ‘bout melting away. sometimes, it leaks, though.”

“So you’re not mad?”

“no way would i be mad. if i was you and saw a glowing popsicle out in the open, i’d wanna know all about it, too.” It’s starting to shrink and fall back down a bit now, since the stimulation from whatever dream he was having’s gone.

“Heard you trying to say my name in your sleep. Was I the name of a popsicle brand or anything?” Sans’ floating pupils get smaller.

“ **oh.** didn’t know you could hear all that. hope it didn’t stop you from getting any of yer z’s.”

“Not at all, it was after I got up. The delicate way you were trying to say it was music to my ears, anyway.” As hard as it is, you let go of the sheet and pry yourself away from the rod for a moment.

“What was that skull of yours thinking of? This is a no judge zone, so don’t worry about that. I like hearing about someone’s bone-afide creativity, anyway.”

“guess i won’t be disappointing ya, then.” He sits up a bit more from his pillow. “wasn’t much different than right here, right now, actually. ‘twas morning, we were together, and you’d found a new, glowing toy to play with. gave ya full reign on whatever you wanted to do with it.”

“Hmm…” You get some rather naughty thoughts, and think of a suggestion to make. If Sans agrees, the two of you could be in for a really good time.

“It’s great when dreams come true. Want me to check that box off for you?” He closes his eyes and breathes for a moment, before turning his head towards the window.

“as fun as that could be, it’s not something i really have experience with, let alone with a human. i don’t want ya getting rubbed raw to the bone if something doesn’t go right.”

“I know where my comfort levels are, and I don’t have a single concern about it. Maybe it could be something you’ve needed for a while, and just didn’t realize until now.” Sans isn’t really sure what that means at first, but then he thinks back to some of the past.

Sans’ years in the Underground had never brought him to a point to bond with someone this close. Between helping his brother succeed, his sentry work, and his hot dog business, Sans never really had enough time on his hands to do the naughties with them. Of course, he wouldn’t trade what he’d done down there for the world, he truly loved seeing his brother reach his puzzle making and guard goals, and the hot dogs were always a nice chance to chat with people he cared about and help give his peers some time and food that they’d enjoy. With those commitments, though, winding up in a spot where Sans felt right getting after it was something that hadn’t happened before, and he didn’t think of you as anything short of a special someone.

Then there was who-knows how much time that… that flower tacked onto things. Hours, days, and sometimes weeks were brought back as if they were nothing. Ultimately, Sans and the other monsters were able to prevail and get out of that cycle, with what the ambassador did, but it came at the cost of plenty of time that ended up being for naught. The stress built up from that hadn’t been great whatsoever, and while he was relieved to be free of time turning back, there were still some nagging thoughts that hadn’t been able to slip away. The mental troubles didn’t help with any urges, either, as it drew him even further way of making an affectionate pairing. If there was a chance it could be wiped away, he’d then have had to start all over. Neither Sans’ mind nor his instincts cared for that very much.

Sans snaps out of looking at the window and turns back towards you. He realizes that what you’re offering him could be what he’s needed all this time. There hasn’t been a single point where time’s flashed back since everyone was freed, so he’s confident in that the Barrier being destroyed means it’d never happen again. The jokes that Sans makes are his way of showing just how much appreciation he’s had for you. To him, you’ve got a thorough mind for your passions, a push to finish goals, and an excitement to discuss what both you and him have going on in life, all while being willing to let loose and let an evening turn into one full of jokes and grins. Your general adorableness doesn’t hurt things at all, either. All of this in his mind, Sans clears his throat, completely certain of his answer now.

“you’re a hundred-percent right, my pal. i’ve never really given myself the chance to share the goo around, when the only long thing i’ve been dealing out his hot dogs. i’ve never not felt cozy around ya, bud, so if you’re willing to explore the bone zone, i give ya free reign. besides, if i’m the popsicle vendor, it’d be more fun seeing which ways you wanna handle it.”

“Aren’t surprises supposed to be the finest parts of life, anyway?”

“good thinking. here’s one popsicle, free of charge.” Using his feet, Sans kicks the sheets back. He then uses his feet to pull his shorts down some more, giving you another chance to admire his long toes. With enough effort, his rod is now completely uncovered. The cooler air from the room bites at a bit, making it do a little jump.

“If we’re reviewing this popsicle, then it already gets an eleven out of ten in the appearance category.” The light coming from the window pronounces the features you noticed earlier even farther. Each drip of goo has no transparency on it, and runs down the shaft like a droplet of honey running off a spoon. The distance Sans had to pull his shorts down shows just how long his dick is, too. For someone his height, he’s got some real impressive length, even if you’ve never had another skeleton rod to compare it to. After enough speechless staring at it, there’s enough red showering over your face for Sans to notice.

“huh. judging by how you look, if i had to give you a flavor, i’d say… strawberry.”

“H-hmm? Oh, strawberries?” It takes a moment to switch back into conversing. “If we’re giving each other flavors, then yours would be…” You take another glimpse at the popsicle.

“Blue raspberry.”

“how’d you guess my scent?”

“Y-your scent?”

“yeah. any skeleton popsicle’s gotta give off a good scent when it’s in action. how else is it gonna bring in the bacon?”

“Can’t say humans are graced with that. Lucky bones.”

“go give it a sniff. wanna prove from the get-go i ain’t lying. honesty’s the best policy, n all that cheese.” You can’t say you aren’t wondering, so you nod your head and lean in towards the light. Something runs through your brain first, though. If the two of you are gonna be getting at it soon, you want Sans to know you’re one for surprises, so instead of sniffing in, you sniff _out_. The warm air on the shaft makes it do another bounce, and you shoot another look back to see Sans having a surprised but clear enjoyment from it. The closest thing you could compare his expression to is someone biting their lip.

“s-shit, protag, you’re not supposed to **blow** someone that soon.”

“Oh, don’t get stiff on me already, I’ve got bigger plans on that line later. I won’t mess with your funny bone again just yet, though.” Sticking to the plan this time, you take a big sniff in.

He wasn’t lying. The popsicle smells completely like blue raspberry, and nothing else. It reminds you of the fruit snacks you’d always cared for, only that this has an even richer scent. If blue raspberry can smell this strong, it makes you wonder how much impact another skeleton’s rod could have, but you know to not bite the hand that feeds you… or, in this case, the popsicle that graces your nose.

“see? told ya i was bein’ honest. it’d be real unflavorable of me to say it’s something like grape.”

“That’d be a pretty easy lie to push through. Who’s ever seen a blue grape before?”

“you’re talking to someone that grew up in the underground, and you’re thinking that blue grapes couldn’t exist.”

“Foiled again.” You move back to the pillows, resting up your shoulders to be skull-to-skull with him. Since Sans is as short as he is, you could reach for the texture part of his popsicle test right away, but it’s gotten back down to a limper state. He needs a little more stimulation before you both go diving into things.

“Before we keep going with the review, there’s a bunch of ribs I didn’t get to last night. I’m no mathematician, but I know there’s a way bigger rib percentage that haven’t been graced with these hands.”

“i’m not stoppin’ ya. as long as i don’t leave with more ribs than i started with, they’re an open book. besides, working at a library, don’t you try to close up books that’re left open?”

“Absolutely right. Here, I’ll get working on bumping that number up for you.” Grabbing around Sans’ rib cage, you try your hardest to rub over as many of them at the same time as possible. It’s not exactly comfortable stretching your fingers out as far as they are, but Sans seems to be living it up, as he lets his head roll back deep into his pillow. His ribs must be the most sensitive point of his body, aside from his cock you’ve still got to get to, but that’ll be soon enough.

“d-don’t think ya realize how good this feels, after air goes through ‘em every day. next time i pass out on the couch, ya got my word to grab me by them when ya carry me up.”

“That wouldn’t hurt?”

“you know how light i am. it’d be no harder than carrying an egg cage.”

“Eggs are really fragile, though.”

“eggsactly. i’ve only got one-a these skulls, it’d be a big mess if something happened to it.”

“The longer we keep holding up, Sans, the longer you’ll have a popsicle that looks like it could fit in with your brother’s cooking.”

“i hate to rib into ya again, but when you’re in the bone zone with me, any words go-” You cut him off by getting after the ribs again. This serves as good practice for the main event in a bit, so each one gets the best stroke you can give it, from the short, curving ribs at the top to the long hanging ones at the bottom. It deals you a mix of happiness from seeing the enjoyment he’s getting out of it, and jealousy that you’ll never know what this kind of thing feels like. Another glimpse at the rod lets you know that there’s definitely been progress made, though. It’s bouncing its way upwards, and seems just about ready to enter the picture.

“Have I ribbed it in enough yet?”

“yeah, i’d say so. don’t want me passing out before getting to the fun parts, anyway.”

“That wasn’t the fun parts? Slightly disappointed.”

“hey, hey, i don’t mean it like that. it’s not that the ribs are bad, it’s that a skeleton popsicle’s gotta be like nothing else when it’s grown out. fun size means big, right?”

“It actually doesn’t. Fun sizes are usually the small candies that kids have.”

“really? kids are supposed to be allowed to have sweets, calling it a fun size is a lie. that’s gonna set ‘em up to not trust anyone when they’re older, and it’s hard to put it back together when that bone’s broken.”

“Gee, didn’t know this was gonna become philosophy class.”

“science is more of my thing, but i can give that a shot, too. who said you need a degree? professor sans is here to educate you.”

“I’m sure I’ll learn a lot.” Reaching your hand out, you slowly and dramatically stretch your fingers out in front of him. A little dose of teasing can go a long way.

“You ready for the texture part of the review?”

“never been more ready for a score in my life.” Lowering the hand, you gently rest your fingers and palm around the rod.

Every muscle in your body feels looser than ever the moment you touch it. Despite all the goo, his popsicle's as firm as it looks, making it really easy to grip. It jitters around a bit in your palm as you take hold, presumably thankful to have contact after all this time. Some of the streaks of goo are already landing on your hand.

“Already wet, and we just got started.”

“t-t-that’s the spirit. dryness is overrated, anyway.”

“All I’ve done is touch it, and you’re already sounding like you’re flooded in bliss.”

“ifffff you were in my slippers, you’d be the same way.” His face isn’t blushing, and you’re not sure if you should be surprised or not. He doesn’t seem to have veins running through his system, but if his cock can still expand, who knows what the rules are. Deciding not to question it, you rest your shoulder up on his a bit as you admire his member and stroke it a little. It’s not a full pull yet, but you shift your fingers between the tip and the base, wanting to explore the whole circumference. To your pleasure, every bit of it’s warm, and the natural warmness of your hands gives it even more heat. Each time the cock gets a little tap, it squirms up a bit, and while it’s not at Sans’ expense whatsoever, you can’t help but laugh a little.

“Never seen a popsicle get this jumpy. You sure you don’t feed it rabbit food, or something?” Sans lets out a giggle.

“heheheh, nah. don’t need to feed it, and it comes with me wherever i go, so i never have to let it out for exercise. it’s even lower maintenance than rocko.”

“That reminds me, I forgot to give Rocko their pet when I came in yesterday. Do they hold grudges?” You stop with the pokes, hoping to hear a positive answer.

“yeah, one day’s not gonna bother him at all. if you forget for **two** , days, though, i can’t say you’re gonna have the best of weeks.”

“Why’s that?”

“let’s just say he’s got some… good contacts. i figure you’d rather not wake up one day and find a fifty pound bag-o-rocks layin’ by your front porch.”

“Yeah, let’s not let that happen. Books might help with brain muscles, but I don’t think they could stop me from giving myself back spasms.”

“what’re those like? just got a spine, so i can’t say i’m familiar with ‘em. could complain a lot about you hogging all the spasm privileges, but i won’t spaz out.”

“It’s something you got the better side of the wish bone for. Your whole back gets all uneasy, and points get these heaps of pressure. Does your science expertise have anything for that?”

“sadly, no, can’t say i’ve heard of a monster gettin’ those. magic’s a lot sturdier than a muscle, cause everyone puts their trust in it. clearly, all you’ve gotta do is only think about your skeleton, and you’ll be as clear as an ocean at low tide.”

“Solid strategy, I’ll make sure to not let it slip.” You can feel Sans’ rod lowering a bit off of the skin of your hand.

“Speaking of solid, I think we’re losing something.”

“whoops. i ain’t bein’ the most reliable partner in crime.”

“It’s no biggie. Here, I’ll cover the dirty work for you.” Turning your attention back to his popsicle, you wrap most of each finger around it now, thinking that the taps were getting to not be enough. Your fingers make more of a striding motion now, with the top one enjoying the knob in particular. Each time, it gets into the bit that turns inward, sending a shake through Sans’ spine.

“This hitting the spot?”

“protag, y-you’re not just hittin’ the spots, you’re blasting them to pieces. those spots won’t be matched ever again.”

“Does that mean you’re billing me for property damage?”

“complete opposite, those spots were g-nng-gettin’ old. glad to see ‘em get outta the way now.”

“What’s better to have then a spot, then?”

“hmm…” He looks down towards his ribs, now in some deep thought.

“a dodecahedron.”

“A dodecahedron? Why’s that?”

“cause that means you’re asking about it, and i get to dodecahearyou keep goin’ on.” Your work’s come to yet another halt.

“T-t-that might be the most wholesome joke I’ve ever heard from you.”

“don’t worry, we can get to something more hole-some later.”

“…And there goes that.” You both sort of stare at each other’s eyes and eye sockets for a moment before bursting into more laughs, and you find it right to get back to the rubbing. Giving the popsicle a hearty grip, you push your entire hand up and down his length now. More goo seems to form up the more its stimulated, which explains why he doesn’t walk around with a long drip trail following down his shorts. Watching it stick higher up and expand in your grasp can’t help but make you feel warmer, and it’s harder to get any sort of quip out. Sans watches closely as well, part of it from his curiosity of what skin contact can do, and the other part from him silently adoring the swift motions of your hand. His breaths seem to be coming in faster and harsher now.

“nngg… be carefffffful how long ya keep up with this, protag, i dunno if you wanna make the room smell like raspberry all that soon.” It hadn’t come to you what Sans’ release could look like. He’s right about not wanting to push it too soon, but stopping the momentum you’ve got going is easier said than done. Each rub gets his popsicle firmer, until it really does feel like a warm popsicle in your hand.

“Well, looks like it’s ready for the texture part of that review. You’d promised Sans some numbers, and you weren’t gonna not fulfill that. Slowing down the pace so nothing happens at the wrong time, you do your best to make a serious reviewer tone through all the blushing that’s showing.

“It’s bold in all the right ways. Despite all the goo and warmth, it all holds into place, and seems to feel right at home with the one giving it attention. It earns another eleven out of ten.”

“does that mean i get to accept an award for being beyond perfect? i’d say i feel honored, but it’d be real big boned of me to make it seem like grades matter most. clearly you’ve got some real good extracur-cur-nnng... good extra stuff on your hands right now.” The state of his popsicle was too much for him to get the full word out.

“Don’t _strain_ yourself, my friend. It’d be rude of me to quiz you while _this_ is going on.” Still looking at Sans, you get back to pulling your hand across the dick, now with a firm grip wrapped around it. You loosen and tighten it as you go across, doing your best the replicate the feeling he’d get of diving into someone. As a final touch, you put your other hand towards the back of Sans’ neck bone.

“May I?”

He quickly nods his head, listening to what you’d told him about not having to speak up. With his approval planted, you rub the back of his neck in unison with what his popsicle’s getting. If there was still any tension there from yesterday, this is the treat it needed, as it gets harder and harder for Sans to stay still.

“hhhhhhhhhhow’re you so good at this…”

“Guess I’m a more of a popsicle wiz than I thought.” He’s having too much fun for you to stop. His popsicle might’ve not gotten its full review, but journalism’s been insincere for years, anyway. Sans' cock keeps snapping up and getting firmer, and from the low moans and chuckles he's making, it’s exactly what he wants. The pace keeps getting faster, and you watch closely, ready to see the glorious sight of his release…

…until déjà vu strikes. As the sun moves, a light from the sun flashes straight into your eyes. If you’d been sitting a little closer, it wouldn’t have gotten you, but it’s too late. The pain from the light’s too strong to make you focus on anything else, and you have to let go of his popsicle as you let out a little shout and begin to rub your eyes. Sans breathing slow downs a bit, and seeing your discomfort, he manages to get words out.

“you ok-k, protag? the sun doesn’t approve of skeleton-human bonding, apparently.”

“…Ow… I guess not…” It didn’t blind you, but your eyes are gonna need a good minute to get back into gear. Blinking up the tears that it drew out, you open your eyes as much as you can and see that the popsicle’s starting to settle down a bit. You were really close, but if Sans released while you were squirming in eye pain, it couldn’t have been fun for anyone.

“see, this is why eyesockets beat eyes any day. ya don’t need a keen eye to see that.”

“Can’t say I don’t agree with you. Forget everything I’ve said about eye color being dazzling, your pupils top them all, anyway.” Once a minute’s passed and you’ve shaken your head around enough, your vision returns to high def. The shaft is definitely a lot lower than before, but it’s not completely limp, so it can still be saved. You’re not really sure where to go from here.

“Sorry if I, uh, stopped at the wrong time.”

“it’s all good, i’d have gotten all bonetrousled after that, too, if i was you. besides, good things come to those who wait.” His emphasis on come makes you both giggle and shove each other a bit.

“if the newspaper does a report on this review of yours, they’re gonna have to print the text real small. you’re gonna have a lot to say ‘bout texture now.” His mention of the review snaps an idea into your mind, and it’s too good to wait for.

“Whoops, almost forgot the most important part of a popsicle review. How silly of me.” Sitting up from the pillow, you crawl your way towards Sans’ legs. Having an idea of what you’re going for, he spreads them far out to “give you a highway to drive on”, as he’d probably say.

“A good review’s gotta bring up the taste. Is it alright if I go ahead?” His floating pupils seem brighter than ever.

“absolutely. hope the flavor hits the dodecahedron for ya.” Taking in a long breath, you lower your tongue down and give his dick a big lick, trying your best to avoid any uncomfortable zones on it for him. From a view like this, you can see every expression he makes, which is perfect for the lip-biting look he’s got.

“g-g-good first impressions?” You give a thumbs up while keeping your tongue on his cock. Giving it delicate licks, you work all the way from where it meets his waist to the sulcus around the top, testing out where his sensitive points are. The goo that comes off is heavenly; the best fruit taste you’ve ever had, by far. Each lick ends up producing more of the goo, so not only does it lubricate itself, but the goodies are never gonna run dry. After you’ve decided he's had his fair share of tongue, you pull up.

“This stuff’s… amazing. Guess it could make a good snack, if you’re ever desperate.”

“it’s somethin’ i’ve thought of, believe me. could go great on a hot-dog, but i wouldn’t want anyone seeing it and making me lose my business. where else would humans get their ‘dogs?”

“If anyone else says they make the best ones, they’re lying. That first one I got from you was the most sansational thing I’d ever eaten.”

“darn. thought the popsicle had even more of a sansation to it.”

“It’s probably about to break that record, so I’m giving hot-dogs their spotlight while I can.”

“either way, don’t worry ‘bout me changing menus. anyone can get a ‘dog, but protag’s gotta be your name for fruit friday admission.”

“Dude, it’s Saturday.”

“that’s what makes fruit friday even more special. all the rules go through the old, crummy window.”

“If it’s that exclusive, then I’ve gotta prove you made the right choice.” Kneeling your head back towards the cock, you push your fists into the bed for support for what’s coming next.

“Ready for me to go to town?”

“yes, yes, and yes. not gonna make you have dinner first, it’s dessert time, buddyo.” Opening up wide, you engulf the entire popsicle in your mouth, feeling the knob get close to the back of your throat.

“oooooh, geez, you’re not supposed to go the whole way at o-once. haven’t you heard of… of brain freeze?” It hits you that as long as his popsicle’s in your mouth, you’re completely vulnerable to Sans’ joke barrage. That’s not a bad thing, by any means, but he’s likely about to go as full ham as he can. Moving your lips along his shaft, the drops of goo keep building up more, and if you were to stick your tongue out, you’re sure a blue coat’s glazed over it by now.

“nnnff… your bobs are better than that time paps went fffffishing with me.” He’s struck again. No matter how intimate it is, Sans always finds a way to get to you stop, and it’s no exception now. You have to let go of the dick from your mouth, and what you’d thought about having a blue tongue is true.

“You and your bruthwa went fisssing?” It hadn’t come to you how hard it’d be to talk with the goo in your mouth.

“phew… yeah, we f, f… tried out this little lake near the new home. He kept pushing his fishing rod up and down so fast that the hook probably stabbed an eye.”

“Did he catch anyfing?”

“not for a good six hours, but then he pulled this fifty-pounder out like it was nothin’. guess the calcium from all that milk pays off.”

“What’d you do with it?”

“just took a picture and let it go. maybe it woulda tasted good, but given our peers, we don’t think it woulda **swam** over well with everyone. undyne was already confused enough from what we sent, imagine how livid she’d be if we fileted the thing.”

“I get her point. At least it wasn’t one of those singing fish on a wall. Maybe that’s what you think when you see those model skeletons in classrooms.”

“let’s leave that one for another day, i’ve got a real big bone to pick with… with… it…” He looks back at his popsicle. It’s too invested to droop anymore, and keeps making little twitches, beckoning for more.

“…s-sorry. i might have the pun game down to the **bone** , but this is a big moment. i don’t wanna ruin your fun… or mine, for that matter.” He spreads his legs out more again.

“help yourself again. won’t do anything to stop ya, pinky swear.” He holds up his pinky, before half-jokingly making a thrust motion in the air. When someone makes the tension pinky swear, it’s practically etched in stone.

Knowing he couldn’t be more serious about this, you open wide again and dive back down on his shaft. While getting your head back to the bobbing from earlier, you try to work the tongue in there as well for the best of both worlds. Each time you come up, you try to snag a spot on his sulcus before diving back into it. While watching Sans’ breathing get faster and his ribs pushing in and out, despite not having any lungs, you pull your right hand off the mattress, stick it under your pants, and start working the magic down there. Enough smaller fluids have started up already to make it moist enough, so each point of the muscles you work your fingers across is splendid.

“mmm, it’s like a… no… hnnnngggg…” He has to stop himself from making another joke, but with the growing pleasure, it’s not all that hard to… especially since his mouth just pried open, revealing the tongue again. You must’ve hit the right points, and seeing the oozing drips from the tongue only drives you to go even harder. Some of your own moans start joining the fray, filling the room with a type of serenade it’s never heard before. Sans even notices the tornado swaying around a bit, getting into a groove from all the positive feelings gushing out of you both.

It’s all exactly as you’d both hoped it’d be, and then some. His popsicle keeps getting bigger, better, and more sanusal, and he starts pushing in a bit as well. Perhaps from his music experience, the two of you are able to hit a complete sync, moving closer and further at the same times. His moans start to get replaced with laughs, as the speed of the twitches make you wonder if he’s reaching his peak.

“aha, i d-d-d-don’t care what score you g-g-give this, the sample’s my pl-l-easure…” The sincerity in his voice makes it seem less like a joke and more of just his thanks. You give the best smile you can while your mouth is full, speeding up the motions around your own area as well. If he’s about to reach his limit, you may as well join in. Rubbing into all your hot zones, the sounds of the room and the sight of his heavenly smile make them far stronger than they’d ever been before.

“s-s-shit, it’s almost here. if you’ve got any other tricks, now’s the time.” He says it all in one breath to make sure he gets it out. It was smart of him to speak up, just in case the twitching hadn’t told enough, because you had a showstopper planned for this. Pulling both hands away and hoping this doesn’t make you fall over, you grab for his hips and rapidly rub them with each one, before plunging your mouth over his entire popsicle. The goo builds faster than ever on the sides, and the shaft swings around like there’s no tomorrow before sticking up as straight as a rocket, now ready to blow off.

“and we've h-h-hit liftoff…” Lunging in as deep as he can without hurting you, Sans can’t hold it any longer. His shaft hits a climatic peak he’d never been before, and his release comes shooting out. Unlike a human, where it pumps out in impulses, the glowing cock shoots it all in one long, invigorating motion. Its blue glow is so intense that he can see it through your cheeks. He lets out some wheezed laughs, not knowing whether to feel more happy or more conked out from all of this.

Just like his honesty about the smell, the release is the most delectable thing to hit your insides. It’s like someone took raspberry juice and a smoothie and blended them together. Each drop has the perfect texture of viscosity and silkiness, chugging its way down the pipe with glee. It’s all too much for your own limits, too, as you hit your joyous release. The vibrating muscles let out an earthquake of feelings as your undergarments get soaked with your fluids. At first, they push out in a quick pace, and then hit more of a rhythm, as you close your eyes and take it all in. The smile stays glued to your face, too, mostly from seeing how much Sans has gotten out of this, but your own fluids aren’t gonna _dry_ that out, either.

His release keeps filing out, like that bathroom faucet he brought up earlier. After a good twenty seconds or so, it starts trailing off, and your fluids start easing into their finish as well. Not really sure what to do to show your enjoyment of the taste while your mouth’s… occupied, you do the metal gesture with a hand while keeping the other rested on his hip. He holds up the same thing in reply, as his tongue, fortunately, stays out. Once the last drops have trailed off, you pull your mouth back to the air and lick up any bits that hit your lips. When you try to take a deep breath in, though, you draw a burp instead.

“didn’t know my load was gaseous. you learn something new every day.” Your burp turns into a giggle, and a couple droplets of the juice fly out of your mouth in doing so.

“Certainly tasted better than anything else that’s sent me to Burpville.” His shaft starts faltering as you feel your own muscles settling down as well. Crawling back towards Sans, you lump back onto the pillow next to him, not realizing how your sitting position had did a bit of a number on your back. That wasn’t something you’d complain about any time soon, though.

“So, um… did I hit the spo- no, dodecahedron with that?” He almost looks a little surprised you felt the need to ask.

“…and then some. you really know your popsicles down to the wood.”

“Twelve for the taste, if you were wondering. I’d explain why, but you probably know your flavor better than I do.”

“it’s only ever been on this tongue o’ mine, though. we’re gettin’ into whole new perspectives with a human one.” He grabs at your cheek and tugs it a bit, greatly pleased with the work it did. Not wanting to leave him out, you rest your hand on the cheek area of Sans’ skull, making sure to not pull at his tongue in doing so.

“shame i couldn’t see that face up closer while you were doin’ your work. it’s a real sight for the eyesocket to behold.”

“Eh, I dunno if you would’ve wanted me that close while tasting. Sounds like a painful stretch.”

“pfffft, fair point. it might glow and give off magic fruit goo, but it’s not an extendo-cock.”

“Do you think any other monsters have that?”

“maybe, but don’t go snoopin’ around to find out. monsters might be different, but i don’t think they’d take kindly to popsicle paroozing.”

“Wouldn’t ever need another one, anyway.” You reach the arm that’s not pressed into the pillow up in the air.

“Care for a post-dessert hug?”

“don’t see why not. it’d be something sweet again.” Laughing, you draw the light skeleton in close, feeling a bit of his flaccid member pressed on your pant leg now. It’s still warm, but it’s gonna be a bit after that before it can build up again. You make sure your hand’s laid on the back of the ribs, so you don’t accidentally tug at them.

“Enjoying your morning?”

“does this answer your question?” Since he can’t see you while you’re hugging, he takes the chance to give your neck a slow lick. The goo might make your shirt a little blue, but if the wash doesn’t take care of it, you can call it a new style.

“Ahahaha, that’s one gift I don’t think I can ever give back.”

“that’s what makes it a gift. if it was your birthday, i wouldn’t expect a gift from you, ya goof. if you invited me to the party, though, i could stir up some steamin’ ‘dogs. they’d be the second biggest talk of the night, just under you, of course.”

“Oh, you’re getting invited, no questions asked. I’m not gonna fracture this connection of ours from not bringing ya to something special.” Pulling your head back from the hug, you and Sans find yourself nose to nose-hole now.

“Ya know, I just thought of something. Mind if I wrack your skull with a skull question?”

“fire away, i’m no ears.”

“Do you ever have to blow that nose hole of yours?”

“noppers. only one part of me blows, and ya already hit it. no different blowing from yours truly.”

“Good to know. I don’t wanna make you fire off a sneeze with this next part.” You wait a moment to put the sentence together in your head, and get a little blushed up again in the process.

“geez, you’re gettin’ your inner strawberry again. am i really that handsome?” He turns his head away, either flattered, or pretending to be flattered. You can’t really tell.

“Yes.”

“oh.”

“Anyways… wanna do some nose rubs? Doubt that hole’s ever had something to fill it.

“i dunno. does yours bite?”

“Bite?”

“hey, i’ve never had a nose. i dunno what they do in their free time.”

“To answer that, no, they don’t go nipping at humans or skeletons whenever they feel like it.”

“good, otherwise i’d have to say **no-stril** to your offer. show me what punch that nose packs.” Refusing to let go of the hug, you slowly rest the tip of your nose inside of the hole. The whole thing doesn’t get in, but it’s enough for him to get tickled up.

“…snap. can’t say i was expecting to get the booger boogies from this.”

“Yikes, is mine that unclean?”

“don’t get all sniffled, protag, i’m just messing with ya, a, aaaaah…” You’d tickled your way into the wrong spot. He suddenly sneezes out all this hot air, as well as some more drips of blue goo. The wind’s enough to send you back, but fortunately enough, the goo seems the same as from his tongue. No toxic boogers today.

“…Didn’t know you could do that.”

“i didn’t, either. i resign as professor, take my title.”

“Professor Protag. It’d look great on any résumé.” Sans looks at the the drips of blue on your nose and tries to hold up a laugh before giving in. His jaw might still be immobile, but his tongue does a little bounce each time. Seeing that can’t stop you from joining in, and instincts can’t stop you from rubbing your hand around his tongue, either.

“aha, glad you’re a fan, didn’t know tongue toffee was such a great treat-” He cuts himself off, and you can tell why. Grabbing around at his tongue must’ve stirred him up some, because his knob’s started tapping at your calf.

“Your tongue’s that sensitive?”

“maybe. either that, or i’ve got a big thing for my nose hole getting filled. guess i’ve gotta learn how to get my pencil-rubbing game going.”

“Why a pencil?”

“cause i’ll learn how to get the tickles down to a **point**.”

“Always honored to be your audience.” Looking down at his cock, you see how it’s starting to swell up a bit and glow harder.

“We might’ve gotten after it once, but one chapter’s not really enough for a book.” Taking your glance back up, you get your eye contact back with him.

“Wanna go for round two?”

Sans looks down at his dick as well. With how great the last go at it went, it could be hard to pull off something even better. It’s always sad when a movie ending doesn’t follow up with the build. Even with that in mind though, he knows something’s not quite finished yet.

You can only do something for the first time once, and with this being his first time getting at it, shouldn’t it be as great as possible? They’d be memories he’d carry with him forever, and if he left with a bullet still in his chamber, that’s something he’d remember, too. He tries to think if there’s any reasons he shouldn’t go for it, but he can’t think of any.

“i’d love to. the review might be done, but this popsicle’s still got more to offer. just realized i’ve still been hiding something, though.” When he looked at his member, Sans noticed that he’d still never fully taken his shorts off; they’d sort of just been left by his kneecaps.

“how rude of me to not give ya the full picture. what if you’re a tibia enthusiast?”

“I’m not.”

“…aw.” He seems pretty struck by that.

“…Until last night. I’m ready to be blown away.”

“if you’re asking me to sneeze again, no, that ain’t happening.” He pretends to give you a deadpan look to distract you from him pulling his shorts off, but it’s no use. You’ve now got a complete look at the smooth bones that meet up with his hips, as well as all the smaller bones that adorn his knees. If you’re ever on a game show, and the million dollar question’s how many bones a skeleton’s leg now, you know who to send half the money to.

“Fabulous.”

“uh oh, don’t say that out loud. mettaton trademarked the word ‘fabulous’ being used for legs. i dunno if underground law’s slid its way to the surface, but if we were at my old home, his minions would be after your booty now.”

“He didn’t trademark ‘booty’, too?”

“maybe, maybe not. i’m no lawyer, that’s just what my brother told me.”

“Huh, didn’t know your brother was one of those superfans.”

“the most super. later, i can show ya how to get another skeleton all blushy, if one doesn’t meet your quota.”

“You haven’t blushed once yet.”

“that can change. wanna find out?” His grin gets a bit of a smirk to it as he sits up from the pillow and plants his hands behind him. Whatever you wanna do, it seems like he’ll let you do it.

“Decisions, decisions. You’re making yourself into a canvas, and I dunno where to paint.”

“are the paints toxic? don’t need papyrus coming home and seeing a bone’s melted away.”

“As far as I’m aware, no, they’re perfectly bone friendly. He’s not coming by anytime soon, right?”

“nah, he’s still in commercial land. for the best, he’s too innocent to tell what we’re doing from the sounds, and i don’t want him thinking i got sucked into the tornado or something.”

“Doubt that’d **blow** over well.” While he’s distracted, it’s the perfect chance to take the jump on something. Messing with his hips seems to set him off, as you’ve already noticed twice, so you set your hands on them and rub more provocatively than last night. His full legs can be seen kicking around now, as their thinness helps explain why he’s so light to carry.

“you’re really got a thing for these. good thing i never miss hip day on that treadmill.”

“Even though it’s been broken as long as you remember?”

“exactly. if it’s not working, i’m not missing any days on it, so i’ve got a perfect record.”

“You sure you wanna give up your professor title? Your mind’s always sprinting through ideas like that.”

“too much responsibility, don’t think i could be a harsh grader.”

“You’re not gonna have any low grades to hand out, anyway, when this is done.” Scooching your way over to his leg, you start making stroking motions from the bottom of his femurs to the top of the hips. It’s probably still feeling some wear from all the hot-dog selling yesterday, so that’s some unfinished business to take care of.

“d-darn, shouldn’t have kept ya waiting so long.”

“It’s not your fault, we were both drawn to something else. A popsicle a day keeps the femur away. I think that’s how that goes.”

“i won’t fact check ya, that’s good in my book.” Even without anything touch it, his cock’s getting more tensed up each time you make your way along his femurs. It’s a good thing you didn’t find that out last night, or the fun might’ve not carried over to the morning. Not wanting to make him blow too early, you ease up on the speed, giving Sans a chance to catch up on your breath.

Your movements along Sans, though, are starting to make him feel a little bad. For all the points you’ve hit, he hadn’t really done any in return yet. Along with that, while he’s been able to get completely undressed by now, your undershirt and workpants are still on. That can’t be very comfortable, especially if the pants are a little damp now. There’s also an idea in his head that his sitting position’s brewed up, and if it’s gonna happen, you’re gonna have to be a little less covered.

He’s not the only one coming up with ideas, either, although yours are a little less… refined. Each look at Sans’ dripping tongue makes it even more enticing. You’d felt the gooiness from it before, but you don’t know how the whole thing really feels. If there was a way to get that texture in you, you sure you could write a whole memoir about it…

“y’alright, protag? hope my leg’s not making you pass out, haven’t thought **that** highly of it.” He somehow makes the shaft twitch in unision with ‘highly’.

“N-no, that’s not it. Not gonna accuse you of battery for knocking out my batteries.” Longingly looking on at his tongue, you can’t hold it in anymore.

“There’s something else that’s goonderful that I’d really enjoy.” Sans’ eye contact drifts off before he finds himself looking towards your legs.

“they’ve only been gooey a few minutes, but i think you’ve got something that’d get my heart flying, if i had one.”

“Whatever you want, I’m still an open book.”

“well… uh… those pants have gotta feel like cheese graters by now, so if you wanted to give the tornado some food, i could give ya… erm…” He can’t spit out the rest.

“…a ride?” The word gets you all flustered up again, and with the popsicle forming up more drops, it’s impossible to say no.

“Does the ride come with a free tongue on the way?” You know exactly how to ease him up.

“well, usually i’d charge someone their second mortgage for somethin’ like that, but for you, it’s as free as the popsicle. you’re gettin’ all the treats, and we haven’t even had breakfast. you’ll lose your appetite at this point.”

“Maybe you’ve already got what I’m hungry for.”

“woah. if the spicy ranking was at a nine, you just cranked it to a fifteen. it’s like you just ground up a hotland spirit pepper and spread it all over us.”

“Sounds good. Wanna go there sometime and have some?”

“do ya wanna lose your sense of taste? it’d be real distasteful to risk that for a human. you might not be able to taste blue goo anymore.”

“Smart. It’d be a crying shame if it was so hot I both cried and couldn’t taste anything. Wonder how much tolerance you’ve got for surface peppers.”

“does swallowing a ghost pepper whole count?”

“…If there was a bar, you just snapped it in two.” He does a little bow in his sitting position.

“all this talk about spice, and we’re not makin’ any ourselves. wanna put some whiteout over that?”

“Only the best whiteout for you.” You unhook the front button and lower the zipper as slooooowly as you can. Each time you hear him make a loud breathe, you pull it back up, forcing him to keep still. It takes a bit, but eventually he has enough patience to keep it in. Once the zipper’s down, you gradually slip the pants off, but you don’t play the breath game with him again. That’d be too much exercise for the morning. After enough effort and struggling, the pants are off, and you turn around to chuck them at the tornado. It’s a perfect throw, and they land right into the cycle, spinning around with his hoodies and socks. It should smell like those when you get it later, so that’s a plus.

Turning back around, you’re now facing a completely entranced skeleton. If seeing the rearview mirrors hadn’t gotten to him enough, the front ones sure did. His smile lowers into something expressionless, and it’s the straightest eye contact you’d ever seen from him.

“Sans? Are you considering a battery report too?”

“huh? what? when? where?” He shakes his head before making contact with your eyes this time.

“oh. my bad. your legs must be lighthouses, cause they were guidin’ me along the whole way.”

“Was that a flirt?”

“maybe. either that, or i’m secretly a lighthouse fan.” He spreads his legs and does his first wink of the morning. If that doesn’t mean something important, you don’t know _what_ does.

“ready for the ride? try not to trail **behind**.” You’re both all smiles as you lift yourself up above Sans’ hips, hands and feet pressed into the bed for support. Figuring he’s wet enough already to not need any lube, you ease your ass down on the knob of his cock. Your nerves weren’t expecting it to be so tickly, though, and you hop back up from it.

“uh oh, does it need a pep talk to get into the door? i can ask it to listen, if ya need me to.”

“Hehe, no, I probably wasn’t that comfy of a door for it to knock. I’ll try again.” Using the skeleton’s grin as your motivation, you lower back down, and this time, not only does the door open, it swings off its hinges. The springiness of his popsicle lets it fit right into the hole, and any pain from tightness goes away in seconds. If Sans’ pupils were as small as raisins last time, now, they’re like seeds.

“…p-protag, if you need another job for the list, ‘popsicle wrapper’ sounds perfffffect… heheh.”

“Nnng- whenever you nnnneed one, I’m here.” It takes a bit of fiddling, but you’re able to pull yourself up and out from his shaft, making it your first “thrust”. It took a good fifteen seconds, so you can’t really call it one, but everyone starts somewhere. The have got a nice paint job now, too, so that should make things easier. You try lowering and raising yourself again, and while it’s not all that fast, it’s a lot better.

“it’s like a g-game of catch. gotta get your warmups in so you don’t break any windows.”

“Completely with you there. Don’t think the neighbors w-would like that very much.” For this next one, you want to give Sans a good bit of pleasure to watch, so you close your eyes and ease into it. With your reps in, the dick’s now at its best work. Its little twitches inside the walls set off nerve endings each time, and the warmth that you and him are brewing are more relaxing than a fireplace in the winter. Seeing the delicacy of your closed eyes and the breaths that his popsicle bring get Sans even more into it, as he pounds his fist on the bed while keeping his spine laid back.

“you… you really are something.”

“I’d hope I’m s-something. As far as I know, I’m not a ghost.”

“eh, that’d **sink** in quick, if that was true.” Not giving him time to make another joke, you plunge back down a little quicker, now with your eyes open for a complete look. You’re careful not to get too low and hurt his hips, and that’s for the best, because it looks like he’s having the time of his life. Each inch deeper he gets into your ass brings on a new wave of jiggles and shivers.

“How do you look cold? This is the warmest thing we’ve done.”

“b-because each one’s like a cold tower over my skull. haven’t been this relaxed since the p-pub got a second menu option for the first time. they got fries to go along with the burg. it was like this new door opened for the whole t-town.”

“This menu’s only got one item. Sorry if it’s not exactly what you wanted.”

“protag, don’t k-k-kid yourself, this is seven stars, at least.” You’re feeling wet and loose enough to pick up the pace. You go for a quicker thrust, and instead of stopping after this one, you come right back down. His dick makes a bit of a sloshing noise in return, which must mean the juices are picking up fast. Not sure what kind of sensitivity he’s got in that area, you don’t hit lightning speeds yet, but keep picking it up a bit for each one. Some beads of sweat are picking up on your forehead, but there’s no time to rub it off and risk losing your balance. That’s a horror show you don’t need this week, month, year, or century.

It’s only now when it finally happens; a blue blush forms up on Sans’ cheekbones. You can’t tell what it’s coming from, as you’ve long established there’s no blood under there to light up, but it’s the most adorable thing for someone his size. It’s donning an incredibly innocent expression, too. He seems to be thankful and loving every moment of this, without having to say a single word.

That sight’s enough to get you to push it closer to top speed. Staying balanced, you get his cock as deep into your walls as you comfortably can, wanting it to stretch as much as possible. Sans starts doing his part to buck into your ass as well, and it’s the same syncing that you managed when you were doing the taste test earlier. The rhythm doesn’t have a single missed note, as you cautiously pull a hand off from the mattress and work it between your legs to work on your own regions as well. The two points of stimulation couldn’t be better together, and the slap noises with the raspberry aroma hit all the senses… well, almost all of them.

There isn’t much time. If you keep up like this, the two of you are gonna burst, and it won’t be with the treat you asked for. The bouncing of Sans’ tongue reminded you just how much you wanted it, and with how tight he’s getting into the hole, it can’t go any longer.

“W-wait!” Sans manages to stop the beat at the same time you pull your rear out. You’re both gazing into each other while filling the air with heavy breathing. Whatever makes Sans bring air in and out, it’s sure working hard today.

“…My apologies… shouldn’t have cut it off, you were having so much fun with it, but…”

“you wanted the tongue?”

“You remembered?”

“’course i remembered. promises haven’t been something i’ve enjoyed much in my life, with the pressure they build up, but you wanted a fresh serving of tongue. i promised, so i’m not takin’ that away. only reason i didn’t speak up was you were looking like you were havin’ a boatload of fun, too.” Sans’ promise seemed to have flip some sort of seriousness switch on him, if only for a moment. You mean enough for him to bend out of the comfort zone he’s usually in, and that’s something truly special.

“so… ya want your steamin’ cold dish of tongue, with a fine side of hot dog breath with it?” There goes _that_. Reflecting on the moment was fun while it lasted.

“Sounds just like what I ordered.”

“and where’s the plate?” You answer by opening your mouth as wide as you can.

“silly me, forgot that tongue’s best served in a bowl, not a plate. that almost got real clumsy.” He sweetly gives you a little push in the chest, before realizing there’s one part still missing.

“hang on, there’s a way you gotta dress when you’re havin’ this dish. mind **dishing** the shirt?” You have to close the bowl up to answer.

“Wonderful idea, but I don’t know how I could take it off sitting like this.”

“say no more.” Sans’ eyesockets suddenly go black, before his left one has a blue eye form up. You’d only seen it once before, when he saw a bar fight starting and broke up the big, hairy dudes in question, but now you had a VIP look at it. Pulling you up off the mattress, you find yourself drifting up in the air, feeling no weight at all. He then uses the other hand to start pulling the shirt up, and you raise your arms to make it easier. With a flip of his hand, it flies off and lands in the tornado, adding a shade of white to the mix. He cautiously lowers you back down to the same sitting position over his hips, with your faces inches apart. You’ve now got equal dress on for the meal: nothing. He’s lucky to have a spine with this much flexibility, but it could also be from all the slouching he’s done over time. Who knew it’d pay off so well?

“there we go. you’ve got just the right attire for tongue, so i can serve you now.”

“Is this why I’m your first customer?”

“yup. you’re the first one to reserve a table. time to dig in.” Your laughs open up your mouth again, and Sans takes the chance to extend his tongue inside of it. He lays it on top of yours, and the taste of blue raspberry fills your entire mouth. It’s like one of those juice cups you’d get as a kid, but without all the chemicals. If his mouth wasn’t occupied, you’re sure Sans would have a chemistry joke to make about that.

The tongue nearly fills your entire pothole, but there’s enough room for you to still breathe, as you take in how perfect it feels. It slides around your tongue and the roof of your mouth, gushing up juices and slathering your mouth in a ticklish, sansual motion each time. It’s not exactly kissing, but if everyone had tongues as big as his, it could be the next big thing.

You’re about to get back to letting him thrust, but before you can, Sans pulls something you hadn’t been seeing at all. Grabbing one hand around your shoulder to hold himself up, he lowers his hand towards your region, too. Rather than messing with it without your say, though, he raises it high again to make a thumbs-up motion. Even without words, Sans finds more ways to mess around. Nodding your head in approval, he brings the hand back down and graces the entire surface with it. There isn’t much of a pattern to it, but that’s what makes it remarkable. He gets over all the sensitive parts and makes them twitch while doing so, leaving your hands open to press into the mattress. It’s both a wonderful feeling, and one that’s aware of your arms' safety. Broken forearms wouldn't be fun right around now.

With everything in place, you lower your booty back down for his popsicle to slide into. You start with slow motions, so he’s able to figure out how to keep his tongue in your mouth while this is going. He manages it with no trouble, and even does a shaky wink. With that in mind, you both pick up the pace some more, mostly trading giggles between each other, with the occasional moan slipping in. Despite the intensity, Sans is able to keep his tongue bounce around your mouth while you rise and drop, giving the ride all the extra distance.

Between the action in your mouth, your region, and your hole, it’s no surprise that Sans is firming up more, and it’s happening _fast_. You’re not sure how much longer either of you can hold on like this, so it’s time for the grand finale. Keeping your clenched fists hard into the mattress, you push your butt down on his rod as quickly and rapidly as you can, and he pushes his hips up at the same speed.

The laughs you’re trading among each other get louder and raspier, with more moans filling the gaps between. It’s the most stimulation both of you have ever had, and you’re not sure if something’ll ever be more stimulating again. The stiffness and juiciness of the cock keep setting off every sensitive bit of the canal, and his fingerwork’s mighty impressive, too. Must be from all the alone time the Underground gave him. You try your best to hold eye contact, but the pressure’s too much for either of you to be staring, so you close your eyes simultaneously.

He can’t say it, but the growing moans are letting you know that Sans is close, and you’re just as close as him. His popsicle twitches all around inside you, his tongue feels like it’s practically fluttering, and the sloshing noises make it all that much more gripping. You can feel the member abruptly stand straight up, so for your final push, the two of you get the entire thing in.

With a half-laugh, half-shout, you release at the same second.

Your impression is that whatever flies out is gonna get stuck in the hole, but surprisingly, it doesn’t. Each bit of the stream lovingly gets in there for a moment, but then it evaporates into nothingness. It must somehow know when it’s finding its way to a mouth, and when it’s not.

The stimulation’s grabbed the attention of every square inch of your body. This wonderful, hilarious, thoughtful, and adorable skeleton just entered someone for the first time, and you were that lucky participant. Your mind’s been sent off to a state of bliss, never wanting this sansation to stop. All his little noises do nothing but add another layer of paint to the picture.

While his release trails on, yours starts up as well, exploding into a gunshot of muscle twitches and motion. It’s as if someone took a palm full of pleasure dust and tossed it all over the region. Sans is hoping that’s the kind of feeling you’re getting from this, but the wet marks on the sheets tell that well enough. His deposit begins to taper off, as any moaning’s devolved, or evolved, to giggles. You can’t tell which is better. Between all the parts of you he’s found his way into, it’s the most comfort he’s had since childhood. Once you’ve both finished, you ease yourself up from his hips, and end up doing a half-fall, half hug into his arms, which wrap around you.

“…Perfect. Everything about that was perfect.”

“really? was shootin’ for more of those elevens and twelves. perfect’s only ten. guess i’ve gotta up my game.”

“You know what I meant, ya dork.” Your heavy breaths are slowing down some now, as you watch Sans’ tongue pull back into his skull while his jaw shuts. Once his ammo’s gone, the tongue must not want to play anymore.

“Was that too much?”

“no way. i’ve waited my whole life for something like that, and you probably just checked off every box at the same time. that’s some impressive writing speed.”

“Don’t worry, I’m sure there’s plenty of boxes we can cover some day. Not today, though, we’d both just be spluttering messes after that.”

“more splutters than a broken down engine.” Reluctantly letting go of the hug, he sits back up on the bed, eyeing down his clothes before turning back towards you.

“how’s breakfast sound?”

“…If you really do mean round three, I wouldn’t the stuff for it. Guess this doesn’t count as a title fight, then. Sorry if that’s a bummer.”

“oh, it was still a title fight. it ended in a double knockout, that’s all. i’ve got some good stuff waiting downstairs that’ll be ready for us in no time.”

“ **Come** to think of it, after all that, I could use a non-lewd bite. Hope none of that shaking messed with your appetite.”

“no stomach, no problem. if i knew how to do a cartwheel, i could do a hundred of ‘em right now and be a-ok with a five course meal. not trying that now, though, don’t think broken skull brunch is in season.” Hopping off the bed, Sans walks to the side of the tornado to grab his wad of clothes, and seeing the back of his hips for the first time almost gets you going again, but he throws his shorts on before they can. He gets his simple attire on in less than a minute, now with more dust on it than last night.

“grab your stuff. the longer we’re not downstairs, the longer breaky’s not going down that mvp mouth of yours.” It’d be really easy to collapse into the mattress after all that, but with the strength of breakfast in mind, you pull yourself off the bed and stick your hands into the tornado grab your stuff. It’s not a strong one, so you’re able to pull your shirts and pants out without getting sucked in as well. They’re all perfectly clean, so the spinning must’ve worked like a drier would.

Leading you out of the room, Sans heads down the staircase. He turns towards the kitchen with you in pursuit, eager for what this meal of his could be. Flicking the light on, the bright white fridge comes into view. He stops in front of it and turns to look at you.

“behold.” Without looking, he pulls open the freezer door, fumbles around with his hand inside a bit, and pulls out a box… of blue raspberry popsicles.

“breakfast.”

“…Of all the things you could have with you.”

“oh, it’s nothing but intentional, believe me. annoys the heck out of my bro, but it tastes too good for him to say no to it.” He holds out the box for you, and you take one before he goes to snag some napkins. You unwrap it, and to your relief, it’s shaped like any other popsicle would be. You’re thankful it’s not at all like the one you’d just spent your time with, or you’re there’d be lots of angry parents sending emails. As you take in its smell, which isn’t as good as Sans’, either, the skeleton returns with the napkins.

“dig in. that sugar buzz’ll get your energy back in no time. try not to get any juices on your face, though, it’s been blue enough today.”

“Speak for yourself. Had no idea a skeleton could blush.” You’re about to take a bite of the popsicle, but to stir the pot some more, you seductively give it a long tip from the top, all the way down to the bottom.

“woah, you’re making it look like you wanna have sex with that thing. what kinda sicko would do that?” It still makes him laugh, so you keep doing a bunch of the positions you learned from the first round earlier. The sucking one ends up being his favorite; part of you thinks you see a throb under the shorts, but it’s gone as soon as it arrives. All the licks are starting to make it drip, though, and now that you’re over a hard floor and not a mattress, you want to keep things clean, so you start eating it. It’s kinda bland after the last one, but it was still kind of Sans to share some food, and he’s right about the sugars. Shouldn’t be long before they make their way to your head.

Taking some napkins of his own, Sans opens up his popsicle and starts eating. Instead of opening wide to chew it, though, he holds it up to his teeth and it seeps through, as expected. Eating a real popsicle must not be scandalous enough to open his jaw, but then it wouldn’t close easy, and that sounds like a fine mess in itself. There’s a little table by the sink, but you’d both done enough sitting for now, so you stay on your sockless and slipperless feet while working away at the popsicles. Once they’re empty, Sans takes both of the sticks, saying he’s saving them for some puzzle concept his brother’s working on.

“on second thought, one of these might be better than that pencil for my nose hole, but i’m not one to poke away at creativity.” Sans washes them off and places them in a jar, before looking back at you. He doesn’t look for long, though, before looking down towards the ground with a sort of sad smile.

“so, um… about all that stuff upstairs. want you to know that’s something i’m never gonna forget. you just pulled me out of something that’d been nagging at my noggin as long as i can remember.”

“Likewise, that was the best bonebardment of stuff I’ve ever felt, and you kept it so personal along the way.”

“hey, i’m just tryin’ to always be me. it’s how everyone should be, no one deserves any less. where’s the fun in getting at it if we can’t goof around and be dorks along the way?”

“…Did you realize I was thinking the exact same thing, too?”

“nope. did ya hardwire our minds together when i was off in la la land?”

“Even if I’d wanted to, I don’t know skeleton etymology. Seriously, though, we’ve got the same juices flowing for how life works. If we’re all ourselves, we can lead the best lives we can.”

“heheh, i should just let you be the one talking. i might know a lil’ more ‘bout your table of contents now, but you’ve still got the whole references page.”

“Don’t fret over it. You’ll know that too, someday.” Walking over to Sans, you reach your hands out for him to take. He looks up at you, and you can see a bit of a tear that’s formed up from his left eye. Gently, he takes ahold of your hands, and wraps his long fingers around them.

“Of all the whackadoodles I could’ve run into, you’re the best I could have found. As long as we stick together, my flesh and your bones are gonna go hand in hand, and I’ll be here for you for surface life, every step of the way.” He speaks up in a shaky tone you hadn’t heard from him before.

“…forever?” You grin from ear to ear and give his hands a little squeeze.

“Forever.”


End file.
